It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a high steeple.

One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he went into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out to the church and began the job.

He got done with the first side. It was looking great. But he noticed he had already used a half gallon. He didn't want to run back in town and being the creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner in the shed out back, and began to thin his paint.

It worked out great. He finished the remaining three sides with that last half gallon of paint.

That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he stepped outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that the first side was looking great, but that the paint on the other three sides had washed away.

The pastor looked up in sky in anguish and cried out, "What shall I do?"

One day, an out-of-work man knocks on the door of a home in an upper-class neighborhood. The lady of the house answers. "Pardon me Mam, Im out of work and looking for any odd jobs that people need done. I'm very handy with everything from repairs to yard work, to painting..."

"Painting?" the woman jumped in.

"Oh, yes, Ma'am! Im a very careful painter," the man replied, his face brightening at the realization she could provide him some work.

"I'll tell you what. My husband just bought some green paint last week to paint the porch out back with, but we haven't had any time. If you can do a good job, then you can paint it before he gets home and surprise him.

"Now, do a particularly good job and paint the trimmings white also, and I'll pay you an extra bonus."

"Oh yes, Ma'am, I'll do an excellent job!" He was told the paints were also around back in the garage.

A few hours later, the man returns to the door.

"That was quick, did you do a good job?" the woman inquires.

One day this blonde got hired for a job, painting lines on the road. The first day on the job she painted 20 miles of lines, the second day she painted only 15 miles, the next day 10 miles and then the next only 5 miles. That day her boss asked her "How can you do 20 miles of lines one day then 3 days later only do 5 miles of lines?"

One day, a blonde wife, roughly 25, wanted to prove to her husband that not all blondes were dumb. So she decided she was going to paint the house while he was at work. When her husband got home,he noticed that she was digging through the closet, looking for something. When he asked her what she was doing, she said,"the paint can said, for best results, to use two coats."